The following snippets are my thoughts regarding online D/s. The cyber community has twisted D/s into a sad fantasy land where newbies truly believe that imaginary service of drinks is a must and Doms think they are Masters from day one. You may not like everything I have to say here. Tough. I don't care. Someone needs to speak up.
Please sign my guestbook as it would mean a great deal to me. Thank you.
My Number One Piece of Advice:
Turn off your pc right now and don't look back.
Advisory Number Two:
If you refuse to turn off the pc which I find foolish but hey, it's your life, tread these waters with eyes wide open. This is not nirvana. This is not the answer to life's problems. A dominant or submissive in your life is not going to bring you instant happiness. But Cerina! I want happiness! Happiness in life is within you. It has nothing to do with what is in a chat room. But Cerina there is no passion in my life! I need passion! Passion comes from within. You either are already a passionate person or you aren't. No one else will MAKE you passionate. The previous two items are regular vanilla needs. Happiness and passion. Dominance and submission are not the keys to the Emerald City and I can safely tell you from experience that online chat rooms will more than likely cause you pain and self doubt. Turn off the pc.
Reality Check #1
If you wish to get online and lose yourself in a fantasy world, that is your choice. BUT, if you desire to learn more about D/s and strive to participate in a D/s relationship in real life,(no delusional people...online is NOT real) for the sake of my sanity and others....enough with the silks,cascading hair, and imaginary drink service!! Behave as you would in real life and do not expect a harlequin romance novel. ( I'll flame about the harlequin stuff later)
Clue # 1
Real Doms are more interested in who you are as a person than your measurements, sexual likes/dislikes, and limits. Here is an article about what you can expect from Online Dominants called, Searching for Mr. GoodChat.
Real submissives actually submit. And......they submit more than just their bodies and do not only submit when they "feel like it." Submission is not always easy and despite what those in chat rooms think, in order to be a cherished sub, you will give of yourself even when you may not want to. There is a thread of messages upon the board regarding this very subject.Go look here.
Shame on me
Out of a sense of neediness, I gave myself over to the fantasy online D/s thingamajig. I really thought I had found someone who, above all else, would be honest with me. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I had been warned that he has a new sub with each change of underwear but I thought I knew better. I thought I was above it all. I was an idiot. He's just some sad, lonely man who likes to play childish fantasy games online without any regard whatsoever for the other person's feelings. I could go on and on but I choose not to bore you. See my definition of a fake dom. P.S stupidity is choosing to ignore red flags then blaming the other person......ME=STUPID
If you are interested in pursuing real life after getting to know someone online, I HIGHLY suggest meeting as soon as possible to see if you are compatable. I've been burned too many times by promises of going real time only to be disappointed after months and months of excuses as to why we couldn't meet just yet. Don't waste people's time and play with their hearts. That is cruel and not very "Dom-like". Leading someone on is wrong. Period.
Dead in a drum!!
Please take the arrest of the now infamous "SlaveMaster" as your wake up call or THAT is where you could end up. Use your head and exercise extreme caution with EVERYONE you meet online. There are tons of wackos out there wanting to make you their victim.
Submissives are not easy!
First of all, those of you out there who think that being a submissive means I'm a sex crazed nymphomanic need to get a clue. DO NOT PM ME IF YOU THINK I'M HOPPING IN MY CAR, DRIVING TO YOUR TOWN, AND HAVING SEX WITH YOU. It SO isn't going to happen. I'm sick and tired of you freaks PMing me with requests for real life sex! I am not a toy. I am not for hire. Get a friggin life!
Don't even try to fool me. It isn't going to work. Period. Look elsewhere. Definition of fake: Only interest is "easy" sex or to puff up your pathetic ego. You are SO easy to spot. Read, How to Spot a Non-Dominant.
D/s versus S&M
Domination/submission and Sadism/Masochism are NOT one in the same. D/s is a lifestyle and describes a type of relationship while S&M simply describes a fetish. However, many D/s relationships do involve some S&M in their scene play.
Nothing annoys me more than the knowledge that a LOT of men (and women) are into D/s simply as a means to "get" a woman(or man). They've exhausted all other resources and then stumbled upon the thought, "Hey! I'm gonna snag me a submissive...or...I'm really needy right now and want someone to take care of me.....I know, that's what Doms do, I'll be a sub." I despise the notion that I am seen as an easy target and Doms are seen as the ultimate babysitter.